After a long journey, I've reached a deep burnout
Hi everyone, I've been rarely posting on dev, or even being active at all. I've started thinking about it seriously.
btw post was unstructured. I don't have the time or editorial skills, so this isn't a perfect novel, but rather raw thinking✌
I actually started my journey 8 months ago. It all started with creating a proton mail acc, just to get a feel for all these communities. It wasn't anything serious; I thought I'd probably get banned or lose my password, and that would be the end of it. I used to dabble in Godot and watch YouTube. But soon, it became my life.
The more I discovered the internet, the more time I spent on it. I started spending less time studying YouTube tutorials. So, I've become quite skilled, and now I don't enjoy watching noob videos, which make up 90% of all tutorials. I started spending more time on social media...
But eventually, I asked myself, "Why?" Why am I on BSky if the algorithms don't even promote my posts past 230 followers? So, I started using it less. Because I got tired of it. I switched to Discord. But I got tired of it too, especially after finishing another jam.
You might get the impression that I'm a caveman lol 💀
The Biggest Problem
I realized I was wasting my time on the wrong things. I realized I was coding less, looking for more ready-made solutions, asking the AI for help...
I realized my brain couldn't even come up with an idea for a casual game anymore. I realized I was burning out. And it didn't happen overnight... It took many months...
Soon I began to realize... I DIDN'T LIKE CODING, I LIKED THE PROCESS OF LEARNING!!!
I used to enjoy discovering new things every day - watching new tutorials, watching videos of newbies like me... But I was at an intermediate level, so it just became uninteresting. It's just not fun anymore.
Now that I have Discord, why should I even bother googling? Why should I search for information when I can ping @@Godot "help"?!
I'm tired. I'm tired of being burned out. No matter what I do, it always leads to burnout. Maybe I'm just out of gray matter.
I've always set limits for myself-for example, like in the previous post-if my game for game jam doesn't make it into the top 100, I'll quit game development. That's nonsense. Honestly, I don't care! What do these external factors even matter to me? A year ago, I didn't know about any of this, just poking around in the editor and playing games? And now? You know, I don't even care how you rate this post!
...Okay, don't kid yourself, all these factors have become way too important... What is this, a dopamine pit? A number addiction?!
I'm actually surprised how many people here, way cooler than me, are so modest about their successes lol...
Okay, let's digress. If this... I just said... Okay, if you want, I can make a "Talking" post where I share the mess I was dribbling above.
Discuss
After I wrote the post, I felt relieved. Not that... Okay, what do you think about this? Yeah, you can just say, "Go to your Godot, whiner, and cut off your internet connection" - that would be perfectly fair 👍
But with each jam, I'm getting more and more disappointed - I'm finishing last... I've just finished the third jam and am waiting for the results.
Or maybe I'm right? Maybe I really should throw the router out the window?
Okay, I'll continue the post. It's time to stop, though I wanted to write more. Good luck, and I hope you don't experience such burnout, although I probably didn't convey the full gravity of the situation in the post, idk, I don't reread posts. Bye 😏
P.S. after reading this post, you might feel like I'm exhausted not so much by development as by social media. yes... I'd like to talk more about dev, but next time